Just Another Day in Piedmont
by MysteRachel
Summary: Dipper struggles with living in Piedmont, thinking of the adventure that awaits him in Gravity Falls. The number of strange incidents increases, and it's up to the Pines family (and McGucket) to get to the bottom of it.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My first story so constructive criticism is GREATLY appreciated (I know I have a LOT to work on), but please no flames. I don't own Gravity Falls or any of its characters. Have a fantastic day!**

Hi. Dipper here, finder of Stanford Pine's journals. I was asked to write a journal about my adventures. You see, in my time in Gravity Falls, I learned that there is SO much out there! Not just in this world, or even in this dimension. There are totally different realities, just like ours, that have a small (or big) change. In the dimension I'm writing to, and I guess the dimension you readers are in, there is no cause or center of weirdness, therefore there is no Gravity Falls, and no Pines family. I guess it's called, like, dimension C137 or something? I don't know, I could be confusing that with something else. Anyway, I guess I should explain how I got here. It all started AFTER my summer in Gravity Falls, on one fateful winter day….

"Hey Dipper! Cathy and I made a Pitt Cola- feeder!" Mabel said as she started drinking through what looked like a giant hamster water-feeder. But as soon as she took her mouth off of the feeder, the thing started spraying Pitt Cola at her. Usually, I would have found this type of thing hilarious, but I was on the verge of a scientific breakthrough. I was trying to figure out why Blexpo markers erased better than Mrs. Scetchy.

"Maybe it's because Blexpo contains less ink, making the marker's trail of ink thinner!" I said, completely ignoring Mabel's struggle to close the Pitt Cola hamster-feeder.

"Maybe it's because you're a giant dork!" Mabel fired back, laughing at her own insult, "Why do you even _care_ anyway?" I sighed.

"I guess you're right," I said, admitting defeat, "This is a waste of time, but there isn't much to study in California." Grunkle Ford's words echoed in my head from the last day of summer. ' _My offer still stands'_ he said ' _If you ever change your mind, let me know.'_ Maybe I should have stayed. But as much as I have missed Gravity Falls, I would miss Mabel even more.

"You're thinking about Gravity Falls again, aren't you?" Mabel said, in more of a statement than a question, "Yeah, I think about Candy and Grenda just about every day," Mabel said glumly. When Mabel said things this way, it kind of surprised me. Mabel seemed so cheerful all the time, so when she says something sadly, she's REALLY sad. Before this summer, I never would've seen how someone could miss a town so much, but Mabel and I did. That's not to say we didn't re-adjust. It was great to see our friends again, and we're doing pretty well in school. I'm the proud founder of the Adventurers Club at Piedmont Middle School, and Mabel is part of…well, she's part of pretty much everything. But the problem is…there's no gnomes in Piedmont (well, except for that one in the public library), or zombies, or strange little kids with telepathy powers who try to marry your sister. There's not even any UNICORNS for goodness sake! Everything here is great, but it's not Gravity Falls. But I'm being too selfish. I can't just leave my parents here, and I'm definitely not abandoning Mabel here. But still, I can't help thinking I belong to something bigger than this.

"Mabel, you ready?"

A skinny blonde boy walked in, carrying a dusty pair of ice skates, which looked as if they were just pulled out of a cluttered garage. The boy had unrealistically blue eyes, and wore a coonskin cap and an oversized black sweatshirt.

"EEEEEK! Steve!" Mabel squealed, with a big smile on her face, "Let's go!". Mabel grabbed a sweatshirt and walked out with Steve. On the way out the door, she yelled: "Bye Dipstick!"

Steve was Mabel's boyfriend and biggest crush. She talked about him CONSTANTLY. Apparently they were going ice skating. In California. In late October. When I asked Mabel why she wanted to go ice skating and if she could even find a place to skate, she told me she wanted to get into the Christmas spirit. In late October. And of course she found a place to skate because, well…she's Mabel. It reminds me of the time Mabel and I found that cryogenically frozen shapeshifter in Grunkle Ford's old hideout. I sighed. Everything I think about, every memory I have somehow relates back to Gravity Falls. That day in the hideout was one of the most terrifying, emotionally exhausting days of my life. So why do I keep thinking about it? Why would I suddenly rather get chased by a shapeshifting, spider-looking imitation of my sister and my likeness than stay here, free of any mystery or adventure? Am I crazy?

Interrupting my thoughts was a strangely familiar high-pitched laugh. As I struggle to identify where I'd heard that voice before, I see a two-foot tall, bearded man wearing a pointed red hat leaning against the windowsill.

"JEFF?!", I exclaim in confusion, my voice cracking. How did this gnome get all the way from Gravity Falls Oregon to Piedmont, California? And why would he come _here_ anyway?

"Nope, just a holographic projection I've been working on," says a voice behind me. As I turn, I see Grunkle Ford, right before my eyes. Before I can say anything, he explains his new technology.

"I've been playing around with holograms lately. I figure they'd come in handy someday, especially in a pinch"

"Grunkle Ford! What are you doing here?" I exclaim, ignoring the state of the art gnome projection in front of me, which quite possibly could've been the coolest piece of tech I'd ever seen.

"What, a man can't just pop in to visit his favorite great nephew?" I give Ford a look. He rolls his eyes. "Fine. I've come to ask for your help. As soon as I got back from my trip with your Grunkle Stan, I noticed a disturbance in Gravity Falls. There seems to be some residual weirdness from the Oddpocalypse. And not the charming weird that the townsfolk are used to. There is some kind of evil in the air, and there is a strangely large amount of dark creature sightings in Gravity Falls. Vampires, ghosts, goblins, gremloblins, zombies, they all seem to be migrating to Gravity Falls - more that they usually do." Ford says, an urgency in his voice. But there's something more than that. I can almost hear something I never hear from Ford - fear.

"Wait," I said, "What does this all mean?" I feared I already knew the answer to the question I had asked.

"It means there may be a residual weirdness in Gravity Falls" Ford said, "Something - or someone - from Weirdmageddon has stayed in the town." From deep in my throat, I can hardly whisper: "Bill?" This catches Ford by surprise. "I don't think so. I've been scanning for traces of him all over this world and the mindscape. Even if he were alive, he'd definitely be in hiding."

"So what is it, then?" I ask. Frustrated, Ford says, "If I knew, I would've told you! Or, better yet, I would've stopped it!" Ford started to pace back and forth, mumbling, "I've tried everything, looked everywhere, I can't seem to figure out what it is!"

"So what do you need me for?" I asked, confused. How could _I_ possibly help fix this problem?

"Oh! Yes, I almost forgot! Come with me!" Ford exclaimed, grabbing my arm. I saw a flash of light, and my surroundings changed. I was standing next to the bait shack owned by McGucket's son. The first thing I noticed were an army of the creepiest looking mer-people I'd ever seen. There were dozens of them crossing the lake and trying to reach me and the outskirts of the lake. They looked like zombies, and stopped at nothing to clamber onto the land.

"What are these things?" I ask in astonishment.

"Zombified mer-people," Ford replies like this was the most obvious thing in the world (Which, quite honestly, it probably was.)

"I infected them to distract them so I could steal their database of happenings on the lake. I thought I could hold them off on my own, but my serum was too powerful. Just keep them occupied so they don't infect the townsfolk. I wouldn't advise killing them either (I'm afraid that's considered an act of war in mer-culture)."

"Couldn't you have asked anyone else to do this?" I ask.

"Stanley was at a car show. Now, Dipper! Go! There isn't much time!" Ford dove headfirst into the water, and I was on my own. I ran off into the forest, looking for _something_ to help me. I smiled. _This_ is the adventure I had been missing.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I decided to keep writing this story as I (kind of) have an idea for a plot and think it would be fun to write. Not too proud of this chapter, but will post a new one pretty soon. As always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I don't own Gravity Falls or any of its characters. Have an absolutely, positively FANtastic day! (haha see what I did there?)**

The next couple of hours were a blur. I had looked around for something to help me, but it surprised me how different everything had seemed. It's strange to think that a summer ago, I thought of Gravity Falls as a boring little town in the forest. Nothing ever seemed to happen, and change seemed impossible. I realize that after Weirdmageddon, everything about this town was different. The townsfolk seemed more aware, not as "ignorant and happy" as they had always been. The town itself looked like it had gone through a tornado, but in reality, the cause was much worse. As I scanned my surroundings for anything - mystical creatures, overly violent lumberjacks, I would even accept bad grunkle jokes as weapons - to help me fight the mer-zombies, but I found nothing. By now, the zombies were almost to the lake's shore, and I had to find something quick. I glanced to my left and saw the large cave Mabel and I had found the so-called "Gobblewonker". I dashed into the empty cave to see Old Man McGucket working on what looked like a futuristic cat toy. Out of breath, I could barely spit out:

"Help…Mermaids…..Zombified….Ford" McGucket let out his signature old man-chuckle.

"Say no more! My lucky banjo and I will kick some Zom-behind," and sure enough, McGucket grabbed his lucky banjo and bounded outside excitedly, with no surprise at all for anything that was happening or was about to happen. As he approached the zombies, he took out what looked like a harmonica, but as he threw it into the air, it began to fly like a drone, shooting small voltages of electricity at the mer-people.

"I've been working on this tiny technology for a while now" McGucket shouted towards me as he repositioned the neck of his banjo to hold like a baseball bat, never turning his back to the impending army of mer-zombies "I found it in some of my old blueprints I had when I was contracting for Anthill-billie's Shootin' Tootin' Enemy Crushin' Jamboree. I've been carrying it around ever since" I looked around for a weapon, but before I could find anything, McGucket tossed me what looked like a radioactive trash can lid.

"Ye don't think I'd come into a fight empty handed, did ya?" McGucket said, a proud smirk on his face. At this point, the zombies were crawling across the sand, drowning in the air in the process. "We have to help them!" I said "Quick! We need to get them in the water!" McGucket and I spent the following hour-or-so knocking out zombies and throwing them back in the water. I wondered where Fiddleford got his fighting experience, because he was really good with his banjo-weapon (apparently he re-built it, reinforcing it with titanium so he could knock out as many zombies as he wanted without worrying about it giving out). The trash-lid weapon he gave me acted as both a shield and a weapon, shooting out small, controlled sonic waves to stun our sub-aquatic attackers. Soon a gasping Grunkle Ford surfaced the water, a small, hand painted, ceramic device in hand.

"Grunkle Ford!" I shouted, "Did you get the data?"

"Yes, but the mermaids won't be too happy about me 'borrowing' it. They'll be on our backs as soon as the antidote I've released in the water kicks in!" he called back, scrambling towards the shore. A sighing McGucket replied: "If I had a dime for every time a group of angry previously un-zombified mermaids chased me out of a lake for stealing their nation's secrets," as we started out into the forest. Ford shook his head, saying "Oh, Fiddleford. All the things we have yet to catch up on".


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm back! Back again! I know where I know wheeeeeennnnnnn ('cause it's here and now). I don't own anything. This chapter was super fun to write and I _really_ hope you enjoy it. Please review. Tell me what I should change about the story. Tell me what you think I should do with it. Criticize my writing. Rant about my writing. Correct me on my limited ice-rink knowledge. Tell me about your day. Tell me what your favorite animal is. I don't care what you say, just REVIEW! AND have a Mabelicious day! (this chapter is in Mabel's POV then Steve's by the way)**

How am I supposed to explain an _ice wizard_ to Steve?! At least I _thought_ it was an ice wizard. I saw this weird glowing under the ice. Steve says it's aliens, but I'm not so sure. Aliens _hate_ ice. I need to tell Dipper. We never see weird stuff in Piedmont. It's just so _normal_ here. Where are the cloned boy bands? What about the hot elves?! Anyways, the weird things we've seen have only started after we came from Gravity Falls. It kinda scares me. Could we be bringing the weird with us? Is that a thing? What is "the weird"? Is it anything? I think I just made it up. Did I make it up because it's real? Are the hot elves _controlling_ me? That would be so cool! Anyways, Dipper knows what to do, he always does. I got off track again.

So this is about the time the ice starts shaking, and things start to get _really weird_. Everything gets all floaty, like someone turned off the gravity. Steve and I start to lift off the ground, as does everybody on the ice. It's just in our rink though. Everyone outside just keeps walking like everything is fine. This is _definitely_ an ice wizard. Then the ice starts flashing all sorts of colors, flashing faster and faster and faster. Everyone looks around, confused as to if our lives are in peril from a paranormal anomaly or this is just the world's craziest flash mob. I know _exactly_ what to do in this situation _._

 _"FLASH MOB!"_ I scream, starting to dance, "HIT IT". I don't know who has music on them at the moment, but just as I had hoped, someone does, and _Cray Cray_ by Sev'ral Timez starts playing. I start to dance, and Steve joins me. We're doing this weird anti-gravity dance, coordinating our movements, spinning in the air, and laughing along to the music. Then the _craziest_ thing happened. The rest of the people actually believed us! First it was another couple, lining up beside us, mocking our movements. Then it was a few other couples. An old lady. A family of four. The churro guy. Everyone pushing off the ground to meet us. They organize in lines next to and behind us, mocking each others movements, laughing and dancing. People from outside the rink even hop in, diving and cannonballing into the anti-gravity bubble. This is AWESOME! I completely forget that there is a possible ice wizard ready to vaporize us. This is why I'm a _little_ caught off guard when a portal opens where the floor of the ice rink used to be. I hear cheers and woops from the crowd, telling me that they think this is all part of the show. I frown. I really could've used this crowd in my disastrous puppet show. It kind of looks like Stan's portal from a few summer's ago, but Ford isn't on the other side. A giant Thanos-looking alien steps out of the portal. "I. AM. GORP." his deep voice thunders, loud enough to make the ground shake. The crowd keeps dancing, and it seems to have a mind of its own, so I float out of formation.

"HEY TRAIL MIX," I yell, barely making a sound over the thundering Sev'ral Timez dance music, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON OUR PLANET?"  
"I. AM. DESTROYER," he thunders, the same tone in his voice, "I. TAKE. EARTH." At that, dozens of ships appear behind the portal, ready to strike. I know I have to think of something fast. _Think, Mabel, think! What would Dipper do?_ The crowd starts to waver, dancing slower and slower, fearing for their lives.  
"Mabel?" Steve asks, and I realize I've been quiet for a bit too long. So I do the thing I'm best at. Being irritatingly distracting.  
"Oh yeah? Well, take _this_ ," I say, taking off my ice skate and throwing it at him. It goes through the portal but misses, floating off into space forever. Bummer. That was my favorite skate. GORP laughs.  
"PUNY. MORTAL. I. TAKE. DIMENSION." Well that's bad. I think of what I have on me. I empty out the pockets of my sweater and start throwing. Then I notice something I _can_ use. I come up with a plan and, if I do say so, it's pretty great. I keep throwing my pocket candy, spare change, blue plastic hair brush, wallet, keys...oh. I shouldn't have thrown those. ANYWAYS. I don't miss this time, and an army of spare change and keys attacks GORP's face. He easily avoids it, but it gives my a distraction. I pull my FANTASTIC and SUPER USEFUL grappling hook (who's the smart one now, Dipper?) out of my back pocket and hand it to Steve. "Shut it down," I whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. By now, the crowd had stopped dancing, and look traumatized for life. I turn to face them, yelling, "Are we going to let an evil trail snack take our dimension?" I get a measly few "nah"s. I sigh. I need them fired up. I try again. "I can't hear you! Who's saving the dimension from an evil trail snack?"  
"WE ARE!" they yell, the crowd turning into a menacing thunder. I recall a trick I learned from my boyz in Sev'ral Timez - anger dancing. I yell at the unknown music source to hit a menacing beat, and begin to dance toward the portal. The rest of the crowd follows my lead, singing loudly along to that menacing beat. GORP looks unfazed, but kind of confused.  
"WHAT. IS. TRAIL. SNACK." I laugh, along with the crowd, and GORP gets even more confused. I just really hope Steve shuts this portal down in time!

* * *

So. Mabel is leading an army of confused passerby to anger dance into an alien space portal and the only way to shut it down is if I use the grappling hook Mabel just _has_ to get us out of this weird gravitational bubble a find a way to fix it. How did I get such a cool girl to be into me!? Me, the action hero I am, _leap_ into action and use my interstellar scout training to make a plan. I know I only have a few moments until GORP sees me, so I take aim with my grappling hook and shoot it toward the control panel of the ice rink. It catches hold, and pulls me free of the gravity-free zone. I figure if the portal is coming out of the ice, there's got to be a way to shut it down through the control panel. I look at it, but I just see the temperature controls. No emergency portal shutoff switch here. I think back to what Scouts has taught me: every portal - magical or otherwise - has a source. Since the aliens seemed to plan the attack, the source of the portal must be on the other side. Looking at the portal, Mabel has clogged the entire opening with dancers. She looks like she's getting close to going straight through, and I know she doesn't want to end up on the other end of space, so I have to act quickly. I fiddle with the controls, turning the water that runs through the pipes all the way up (which usually makes the ice cooler). To my luck, the portal GORP opened doesn't quite cover the ice pipes, but the coolness of space freezes them. I didn't know this at the time, but when I turned up the water, it increased the pressure on the ice. It built up more and more until the pipe finally exploded on all sides of the rink-turned-portal. I look up to see GORP entering our world, pushing Mabel and the other dancers to the side like flies. Then I get an idea. I see an industrial fan nearby for some event, and I pull it over to the rink. I power it on, and it blows the tiny shards coming out of the busted pipes around the now-almost-evacuated rink. GORP is now through the portal, trying to adjust himself to the Earth gravity. The shards pelt GORP from all sides. This holds him off for now, as it gets in his eyes and just seems really, really uncomfortable, but I know it won't last forever. We have to shut down the portal. It's getting even worse, as I see a ship approaching the portal. We _need_ to do something, but I have no clue about this sort of thing.

* * *

Steve tries to hold off that stupid trail snack, and he's doing his best, but we _are_ fighting an alien ice wizard. I know throwing ice at him isn't enough, and I'm trying to come up with a plan as I hear one of those futuristic portal-opening sounds from behind me. Kind of like a SHOOOOOM but more sci-fi-y. I get ready to punch something, worrying it's another badly named alien-man, but I hear Dipper's signature cracking voice.  
"Mabel! Steve!" I turn to see Dipper, Grunkle Ford, and Old Man McGucket on the other side of the portal. Grunkle Ford runs out, throwing what looks like a bouncy lacrosse ball at GORP, shouting "Take _that_ , you ruffian!" The minute the lacrosse ball hits his body, it spreads out to form a thick butterscotch-sappy looking layer around his entire body, suspending him in space.  
"Now, to deal with this ridiculous excuse for a portal!" Ford says with a smirk, looking a bit angry at the craftsmanship of GORP's portal.  
"Hey kids," he turns to Dipper and I, "Want to see your old grunkle blow up some stuff?" he asks enthusiastically.  
"YEAH!" we say in unison excitedly as Ford pulls out of his pocket what looks like an industrial grenade. He unclips it and chucks it straight into the portal as the ship is pulling out of it. I see an explosion and cheer as the portal closes, chopping the stray ship in half, one side on where the ice rink returns to, one side out in space somewhere, possibly in another dimension.  
"Why didn't we use that on the zombies!?" Dipper ask-yells at Ford incredulously, as he just shakes his head. I look at Dipper, wondering if he had as crazy a day as I have. He sees my look and says calmly, "We have a lot to catch up on".  
Dipper, Ford, Steve, Old Man McGucket and I walk back through the portal they came out of, ignoring the half of a spaceship lying in the middle of a beaten up ice rink, slightly on fire. From the look on Ford's face, we have much bigger things to worry about at the moment.


End file.
